Sobbing. Today, I sobbed. Snot, tears, thoughts, anxiety. SHUT UP!!!! Who will shut them up? I'm trying my damnedest... to completely collapse or stand taller. Enough is, well, enough. Time to tag out. I can sit along ringside and watch my allies kick some LifeLessonAss.
Amazingly, I strategized the manuveur to the ropes. Ducked. Floated. Friggin hurtful punch to the left jaw. Blood. Tears. Gulp. Shake it off... making it to relief.
No one?
Where?
Anyone?
No. Okay just half more round... but hurry up. No really, Hurry up. Get your shit together. I have to do ALL that AGAIN?!
Just hurry up. Know my limits. Won't last.
I'm still fighting. Gave up waiting. Figure out mid-panic, ain't coming.
Acknowledgement. Understanding. Theories. Not one of them will stand in to sharpen the blur of brown, blood-tinged, copius stool on my face. Still smell it. Still feel it. Still embarassed.
No one brings water.
No one brings attention.
No one.
Not one.
Mom?
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